Starting over again
by nici's anatomy
Summary: Jenny has something to say that Jethro doesn't really like. Can he change her mind? And is this even necessary? Jibbs


**TITLE:** Starting over again**  
AUTHOR:** nicis_anatomy**  
CHARACTER: **Jethro Gibbs/Jenny Shepard**  
GENRE: **Het, Romance (a bit angsty)**  
RATING: **PG-13**  
WORD COUNT: **2,042**  
SUMMARY: **Jenny has something to say that Jethro doesn't really like. Can he change her mind? And is this even necessary? Written for prompt "Gibbs/Jenny. Starting over again." at lj's older_not_dead.**  
WARNINGS: **English still isn't my native language (although I wish) and the story is not beta'd. I have the feeling it's a bit OOC (especially Jethro), but that's something I have to live with now - and you, too, should you decide to read the story ;)**  
DISCLAIMER: **I don't own these characters (although I'd love to own Action Figure Gibbs), nor am I making any money from them. If I would Season 5 would have ended different.**  
NOTE:** Written for marciafan, because she liked the idea and insisted I should write it down. I wrote the draft version already last Tuesday, but RL wasn't on my side these last days, so it took me a while to find the mood to finish the story.

~*~*~*~*

The sun wasn't even up, when Jethro entered Jenny's office. She had left him a message on his desk, telling him she wanted to see him first thing in the morning. The note had sounded urgent and serious, so that he hasn't even wasted time to get some coffee first or think about what he may have done wrong and when he entered her office, Jethro had still no idea what this was all about.  
He hadn't done anything wrong, as far as he knew, he hadn't pissed off one of the sister agencies and he hadn't talked to the press or behaved 'unprofessionally' in front of a camera. The whole week had been quiet, and truth was, he hadn't done anything at all - except for drinking too much coffee and supervising his team. He couldn't be in trouble, then, but why had she insisted to see him that early? Something was wrong, and he hoped he would find out, what, soon.  
"You wanted to see me, director?" he asked, closing the door.  
Jenny, who had been staring out the window, turned around. The look she gave him couldn't mean anything good - at least not for him ...  
"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping next to her. Her look had scared him - although he would never admit it - and he was afraid, but not that afraid that he needed the desk between them for protection.  
She wouldn't hit him. Or would she?

"I can't do this anymore, Jethro," Jenny replied, sighing.  
"What do you mean?" he asked, puzzled by the private content this meeting seemed to have. Ever since she'd return to DC to become director, they hadn't really talked about private things, and if they'd done it (in-between work related conversations) it had always been him who'd changed the direction of their talks. That Jenny was now the one bringing up private stuff, scared him even more - and it confused him at the same time; though, he was able to hide both emotions from her.  
"I mean all this … us … working together," Jenny explained, sighing again.  
"What do you mean?" he repeated, knowing he sounded like a broken record - a confused one. "Are you firing me?"  
"No, Jethro, of course not." Jenny shook her head, and for the first time in weeks she gave him something similar to a smile. "You are my best agent. The agency needs you. Your team needs you."  
"Then … what are going to do about your … your problem?" he asked, ignoring the compliment she'd just made him. Under normal circumstances he would probably have teased her, telling her he'd told her all along that he was the best agent NCIS had ever had - even when this wasn't what he really believed him. But now was not the time for jokes. Even he was sensitive enough to notice this.  
"I quit," Jenny simply stated, before she turned around again to continue looking out of the window.

For a long moment he just stared at her back, trying to understand what she'd just told him and if what he had heard was indeed what she had said - and meant.  
She couldn't be serious. She loved being the director. She had worked so hard to come here. Why would she give this up just because she couldn't work with him anymore - for whatever reason she had … She was the one who had told him, he couldn't quit. She was the one who had brought him back from Mexico (although he would never admit that it was her speech in his basement that had convinced him in the end that his retirement plans came a few years too early).  
Why had she done this, when she was having such a hard time working with him?  
That didn't make any sense …

"Jen?" he asked, after a while. "Are you serious?" He placed his hand on hers, only then realising what he was doing and that he was crossing a line they both had avoided to even come close to all these month. But when he also noticed that her whole body was shaking, his worries about boundaries vanished instantly. It scared him to see her that vulnerable and weak, and he wondered what was really going on here.  
"Talk to me, Jen… please? Do you have problems? Is someone threatening you? Why would you ... this is a joke, right? You are not leaving and you don't want to. Why would you?"  
"Jethro, don't make this any harder." Jenny's voice was shaking, when she finally spoke. "I have to go."  
"But why? You love your job. NCIS needs you."  
"I don't know, Jethro …" Jenny turned her head, facing him, and he could see a single tear in her eyes, she didn't even try to hide from him. If he hadn't known by now that something was wrong, this would've been the final proof that his worries were justified.  
"It is true that I love my job, but I don't think NCIS really needs me. I have … I wasn't professional enough and maybe I'm not even qualified enough for this job. As you've told me many times during these last years … I was a good agent. But I don't know about the director job. Maybe it wasn't meant to be." She shrugged. "Don't try to talk me back into it, Jethro. You don't have to lie to me. I know that what I say is what you've thought all the time. Maybe I should've listened to you."  
"Maybe you should've," Jethro said, still shocked from the confession he'd just heard. He knew she meant every word she said, but there was also some insecurity in his voice telling him that she wasn't so sure about her decision at all, maybe even begging him to convince her that she had to stay.

Of course, some of what she'd said was true and he was secretly glad that his words hadn't been wasted all these years, but seeing them work now, after Jenny really had grown into this position, was scaring and he wished he'd said only half of these words. He didn't want to be responsible for ruining her career by listening to him, now. "You know ... it's never too late to learn from mistakes," he added, carefully watching her reaction.  
"Says the man with the three ex-wives …" Jenny's weak smile turned into a grin, although her amusement never reached her eyes and Jethro could tell that she was only acting and trying to fool him. And he was sure that she knew that he knew. They were both good at reading each other, and although they had grown apart over his retirement and the events with the frog afterwards, they were still close and knew, most of the time, what was going on in the other's mind; this time, however, he was having a hard time really reading her, so he decided to play her game, hoping to get more information that would help changing her mind or at least help her with whatever was going on.  
"That's not fair, Jen," he said, trying to sound offended, before he his voice became serious again. "And … it's not what I meant, when I said it isn't too late to learn from your mistake, Jen. Just try to listen to me now. Don't make the same mistake again. Don't run away. Don't quit, Jen. You love this job."  
"I have, Jethro. Please … don't try to hold me back. I have to change my life. I have to stop working all day and ruin my health by drinking too much coffee and killing myself with sleep deprivation."  
"Then cut back," he suggested, his pleading voice making clear that he didn't want to lose her, and although he normally tried to hide his true feeling from everyone, this time he wanted her to see that he didn't want to lose her or see her walk away again. He had no clue what the reason was, but his gut told him it this was the time when it was necessary to swallow his pride. "Hire another assistant, talk to SecNav. I'm sure he could come up with something."  
"I could indeed try to do this," Jenny said, thankfully squeezing his hand that was still covering hers. "But it wouldn't make a difference, Jethro." The tone in her voice changed, making Jethro suspicious. Slowly, he got the feeling that the whole time he was fishing in the wrong direction and that the real reason for this conversation, the reason, why she wanted to leave was something else and that she had been playing him even more than he had assumed.  
"Why?" he asked.  
"Because I would still have to break one of the rules. Your rules," Jenny answered and this time her smile was real and almost mischievous. Still confused, Jethro had trouble following her mental leaps, but the feeling that he was right by assuming she was playing him, grew stronger - though, he had still no idea what her real agenda was. First she was talking about her health and suddenly it was all about him and his rules again?

"And what rule would that be?" he asked.  
"Number 12," Jenny replied, sounding almost unconcerned, but the sparkle in her eyes, gave her away. For a short second, Jethro had felt his heart sink, assuming she'd felt in love with one her employees, but when he noticed the look she gave him - one he had last seen almost nine years ago in Europe, he suddenly knew what was going on and he couldn't help but grin like a Cheshire cat.  
At the same time, he was seriously considering a head-slap. If this would be Tony, he would have given him one without hesitation, and for the way Jenny had delivered her message, by worrying him until she brought his guards down, she'd definitely deserve a slap at the back of her head. But he had never done this to her and he wouldn't start now; especially now, when it seemed like all his hopes and dreams were coming true and she was giving him - them - the second chance he had hoped for ever since he'd seen her again six three years ago. There was no way he would slap her and push her away again by doing this.  
"You mean ...?" the tiny part that was still insecure and telling him this was just a dream (or something his mind made up or his ears wanted to hear her say) made him ask, although every signal Jenny was sending him - the way she smiled, the way she looked at him, the way she was no holding his hand, while her body slightly leaned forward seeking him - showed him, there was no need for doubts.  
Jenny nodded. "We wouldn't want to make that mistake again, would we?" Jenny asked stepping closer to him, until her body almost touched his. "Dating a co-worker … keeping everything a secret to avoid consequences."  
"Are you sure about that, Jen?" Jethro asked, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer, making clear what he wanted and that everything only depended on her. "You would give up a lot for this."  
"But not as much as I gave up nine years ago, Jethro," Jenny said, brushing his cheek with her fingertips, before her hand moved to his neck, leaving hot burn marks on his skin where she'd touched him.  
"You were wrong about me, you know," she whispered, "I have learned from my mistakes and there is one in particular I would never make again."  
"And which one would that be?" he whispered, his lips only inches from hers.  
"Stop asking stupid questions, Jethro. Just kiss me."  
And he did ... because that was what he wanted to do, because he'd known the answer to his question, before he'd even asked, and because a small part of him was still afraid she would change her mind. But when she wrapped her arms around him and instead of pushing him away, pulling him closer, when her lips parted and she let him in and back into her life, he knew that seeing her walk away again, wasn't something he needed to be worried about.

**- The End -**


End file.
